ESPN has taken 55 Wyckoff to Tulsa for one of today's less interesting matches. The fighting Bill Clinton's against the Golden Hurricanes. Really, does anyone know Little Rock for anything other than Slick Willy? (By the way, the former President paid a visit to Rutgers last month). We're off to an exciting start: 2-2, and the ball already got stuck in the rim once. Doug Wojcik looks like a Marine on the bench for Tulsa, I expect to see a well disciplined team on the court against UALR (airport call sign?) today.
---
Big Dan is releasing the gas in the living room right now, and its not making a 10-7 football score any more appealing at the Donald W. Reynolds center. Go up to any American with a one hundred dollar bill, ask them about Donald W. Reynolds--you are all but certain to get a blank stare.
For those who are curious: Donald W. Reynolds lived to 87. He obviously played some kind of role for the Tulsa basketball program, but he also built an economic school at Arkansas Little Rock. And yes...time has elapsed but the defenses are holding strong. Still 10-7.
By the way, how bad does 55 Wyckoff want to hear Andy Katz yell "We'll do it live!!!" on the set at ESPN? Nothing better than watching Republicans struggle to keep their poop together.
Last but not least:
Safety in the game. 10-9. 10:15 to go in the half.
---
When Tulsa is taking it to the Lewinski's 17-12, it's time to sing along to music videos.
So far:
The crowd in Tulsa encouraged us to sing "Hey Baby," but we're doing a little Ricky Martin right now. Where is that Brazilian giant on the Hawai'i bench to give us a little southern hemisphere spice when we need it.
Thanks to all of our followers. We're a bunch of tired d-bags, but we'll do our best to keep our sanity.
Dan Mal gives us fashion sense: Doug Wojcik's tie is too long. We discovered yesterday that Dan Mal is 33.33% queer eye for the straight guy, so Wojcik should take his advice. Update: Dan Mal has discovered that our hot neighbor is not wearing underwear. Don't expect him to make a move...he's taken ladies.
---
Tulsa gives us the whitest player of the day: Steven Idlet of the Tulsa Golden Hurricanes. Steven looks like a good guy, but he's got the build of a Hickory High stud playing for Gene Hackman. Shave the burns Steven, you'll draw a few more coeds to the dorm room.
2:30 on Tuesday and I'm watching Tulsa and Arkansas Little Rock...I've graduated from college folks, I have a degree. What is wrong with me?
Guest to 55, Tylerneski, notes that the Hampton Inn commercial is nothing special. He routinely makes shots off the roof bounce. He is also the captain of a Rutgers rec team: Jesus Shuttlesworth. His game reminds me of Rudy Gay. He's long and strong, but has kind of a line drive nature to his shot.
---
At the risk of being esoteric, we give you a little more of the UALR (I flew them home from Vegas)/Tulsa game.
What school would you rather attend?
Pro's of UALR:
-The black road jerseys are pretty sweet. Darth Vaders of the hardwood.
-Good food. I've never been to Little Rock, but I assume they're throwing down some good pulled pork.
-Mike Huckabee, we might be Democrats, but the guy's pretty sweet. No property tax and he plays the guitar. He's invited to 55, as long as he brings a six string.
Cons of UALR:
-Doesn't Ryan Mallet drive drunk on highways across Arkansas?
-A night of heavy drinking might bring you into bed with Paula Jones. Ok...whitewater scandal, too much innuendo for this former English major.
-We're not going to lie, we didn't know they had a basketball team until this afternoon.
Pro's of Tulsa
-If you're going to be a hurricane, might as well be golden. Ask R. Kelly.
-Tulsa was named one of America's most liveable large cities. I hate unliveable cities.
-We're scared to say anything bad about a city represented by Wojcik...this guy could smack the silly out of all of us.
Cons of Tulsa
-Tornadoes, I've got a lot of cool sports crap, including a Bobby Thigpen autograph, that I don't want blowing across the Southwest.
-The city is the buckle of the bible belt. The bible got thumped by Clemson today. If you don't worship the Tiger, you're at risk of getting bit.
-Golden Hurricane. Just talk to R. Kelly's cousin...or Stifler in American Pie 2. It works both ways.
---
We're gearing up for the second half in Tulsa. The 25-20 score at half means the 125 over/under is a joke. If this game goes over, any reader can name my first born son. Seriously, my girlfriend is well aware of what I'm doing today, and understands that anything can happen. Bless her heart for putting up with days like today.
This is a tough game to analyze. The over/under tells me neither team is performing to their potential. Are we watching two good defenses, or two underwhelming offenses? This question gets to the heart of my national title pick: Purdue. Purdue loves to play sloppy games like this, but their players have the talent to score with the Washington's of the world--as evident last March. Toss them in a gritty defensive battle, and they will ugly the crap out of the game. Ask them to score, and they'll give you a solid 75-80 points.
Dayton is a poor man's Purdue. An athlete like Chris Wright can play with anyone in the country. The Flyers scored 90 the other night against Creighton, but they can win the ugly defensive games too. What won't fly for the Flyers this March: another 40 point performance like last year's second round loss to Kansas.
---
I don't like to pick on cheerleaders, but Tulsa is sending out a squad that reminds me of the girls that live upstairs--and that's after fire alarm kept them up all morning.
As for the game, we're at 34-24 with 12 and change left in the second half. I don't think we'll see either team this March. Tulsa is getting better looks at the hole, more open cuts to the basket. But Tulsa/Memphis is not even a game at this point. Forget a Tulsa run this March.
---
We've traveled long and far since that 12 AM UCLA game that we cruised through like nothing. I think offenses across the time zones have disappointed today. We've seen some good defenses, but few really strong offensive performances. Clemson was balanced, but its tough to say that they looked ready to compete in the ACC based on a relatively balanced performance against Liberty. Villanova put up 100 last night, we haven't seen an offensive assult of that level today.
---
A sorry is necessary for fans of these two schools, but this game sucks.
---
77 points with 5:54, looks like I will be naming my own child.
---
Big Dan's girlfriend Katie: "Crap, I have the GRE's tomorrow." That a girl Katie. We know you'll do great, so why spend the last night studying. Watch some college hoops and get drunk with your boys.
---
Download:
"I'll Be in the Sky" by B.o.B.
and
"Breakeven" by The Script
---
55 Wyckoff's attendance got a boost:
Tylerneski has returned with his girlfriend Deanna. Is she taunting us with pizza? Yes. Is she ready to offer final four picks? Maybe. Lets see what the present girlfriends have to offer:
Deanna:
UConn
Rutgers (What a homer!)
Duke
Villanova
National Champ: UConn (Her boyfriend tampered with the selection process)
Katie:
Louisville
USC (really?)
Notre Dame
Pitt
National Champ: Louisville
---
#23 hits a three for UALR, but we're still not reminded of Michael Jordan. The game goes final: 59-45, Tulsa. That was a tough game, but alcohol got us through. Didn't our old pal Billy the Snake say that after every Kentucky game?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment